Background

Scott Leckie, a friend from my youth, is the interviewee this week.  I recently re-connected with him via Facebook.  Scott found me through the awesome algorithms Facebook employs since we did not have any friends in common at the time of re-introduction.

Scott was a very kind and quiet person during our childhood.  He was always cheerful, friendly and happy.  He was never mischievous or troublesome.  Thus, I was very interested to find out what kind of man he has become.

Similar to my interview of Joe Webb, I split Scott’s interview into two articles.  Scott had quite a few interesting points to share about marriage and leadership.

Interview

How long have you known your wife?  What have you learned and implemented to maintain such a lasting relationship?

I have only known my wife for about eight years now.  I think what I have learned is to have a good sense of humor and pick and choose when to take a stand on an issue.  I really don’t like being confrontational.  I also have learned to be patient and understanding of other person.

What advice would you give to someone interested in getting married?

The advice I would give is that it takes time to learn to live together.  Each person has a routine and it is sometimes difficult to combine the routines into one routine that makes everyone happy.

What is the difference between listening and hearing your spouse?

The difference between hearing and listening is that when you listen you get to see where your spouse is coming from and the feelings that come with it.  While hearing your spouse is just hearing the words coming out of the mouth.

Why do you think married couples do not stay together?

Married couples don’t stay together for any number of reasons–infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, and being selfish.  My feeling is that the first thing that goes is communication between the spouses doesn’t happen and then someone gets offended and then it goes down hill from there.  When you are in a marriage you have to be focused on the other person’s needs and when that doesn’t happen then the relationship starts to have trouble.  The other thing the couple needs to have is some common goals that the both of them can and need to work towards.

What is the difference between love and staying in love?

Being in love and staying in love are two different things.  Being in love is when you are engaged.  Staying in love is after being married for more than two years.  This is when you need to use your brain and be creative on doing somethings for your spouse and just surprising her with flowers or something you do to show her that you still love her.  Another thing that could be done is that you cook dinner and do the dishes so she can have a night off.